women

An Apology To All My Friends,

Hey guys, it’s me, Meghan, that girl who’s been annoying you for the past few months. Yeah, no look I’m really sorry for being such an asshat lately with my constant rehashing of the boy drama in my life.  From texts of screenshots asking, “WHAT SHOULD I SAY???HELLP ME PLEASE!!” to “I mean, why would he view my snapchats if he doesn’t want to talk to me??”, I’m really sorry. So very sorry.

It’s strange because I was aware of how awful I was being but for some reason I just couldn’t keep my word vomit down.  But thankfully, I think I finally know why I’ve been such a pest lately. These past couple of months have been a little rough for me, my grandpa passed away on the day I got my tonsils removed (which gave me pneumonia, WHICH didn’t allow me to go to any of his services, W H I C H resulted in me not grieving properly, yeah I’m still slightly biter) and all the while I was out of school early unlike all my friends.  I was in search of something (or someone) to push away  my feelings of sadness, anger and anxiety, so in result, I clung onto a shitty romantic fantasy.  I’m so tired of talking about it so I can’t even imagine how sick you guys are of hearing about it. (but if you wanna talk about it some more, I’m totally down.  But you shouldn’t, STOP TEMPTING ME GUYS)

I guess this is my way of saying, I’m sorry and I promise to stop talking about it.  Or well, I’m going to try really really hard not to.  But more importantly, I promise to myself that I’m going to make peace with the past.

I’m finally ready to move forward.  I’m ready to focus more on myself.  I’m ready to give my love to people who not only I hold close, but to those who also hold me close.

I must admit that I’m pretty fucking scared to embark on this new chapter in my life, but I’m also really excited to flounder about. It’s finally time to pour my energy into people and things that are worth my time.

^^Pretty much about sums it up.

Also, is this a bad time to tell you guys how I just met my future husband at the Apple Genius bar??

Ok, yeah got it.  Again, I’m really sorry guys. ❤

 

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Don’t Say “I Do” To Wedding Loss Weight Pressures

Yesterday was just like any other day as I aggressively scrolled through Instagram’s feed of #weddingdress and #engagementrings, until I came across a picture of a woman wearing the shirt below.Screen shot 2014-04-24 at 1.43.53 PM My immediate reaction was an eye roll comparable to one of Liz Lemon’s and then anger. A lot of anger. anigif_enhanced-buzz-17013-1377620194-0  Being a person who enjoys working out (and squatting for that matter), I was surprised how I responded after seeing this shirt. At first, I tried to dismiss my feelings, thinking this shirt could have been meant as a harmless gift from a bridesmaid, or maybe even the future bride bought it for herself as motivation.  But it was when I was followed by a body wrap account (who probably noticed by wedding activity on Instagram), I realized that I’m not ok with the weight loss culture that surrounds weddings. And of course, that’s not to say I’m ok with other ones, it’s just I’ve never knew of this world that was full of shirts reading things like “sweating for the wedding”.

As a person who has struggled with their body image for years, it’s really disheartening to see that this bullshit even engulfs such a meaningful day.  When a bride makes the hard decision to lose weight for her wedding, it should be for herself. Her decision shouldn’t be made because  loved ones and the media are pressuring her to do so.  After all, it is your day so you should be doing you.

And yes, these Instagram and Pinterest accounts can offer encouragement but they can also quickly lose their innocence and create murky environments for future brides.  It’s important to remember a bride is just a person–and should be a happy and healthy one at that. Maybe because I’m 22 years old and currently have 0 romantic prospects it makes it easier for me to feel this way.   But if/when the time comes for me to get married, I hope I’ll look like a bad bitch, who got there on her terms.  So as of now,  I am saying goodbye to wedding weight loss pressures and I hope you guys do to. tumblr_me1ze7NnD61rpuq64o1_500

I had some trouble working out my feelings on this topic because I know it’s a small piece to a much larger issue  but I’m curious as to what other people’s thoughts are on it.

So if you wanna leave a comment, please do!

Tips For Your Trip To The Gyno

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1. Don’t sweat it

As a person who tends to overanalyze everything (including my first visit), I feel like I can tell you it’s not as terrible as some make it seem.  Don’t be intimated when you’re in the waiting room surrounded by pregnant women/new mothers, whose water may have broken on the chair you’re sitting on.  Take a deep breath and remember, you have the same equipment so you belong there!

*Plus if you get nervous, you’re gonna sweat–which will lead to wet marks on the crinky tissue paper AND THEN it’s just going to stick to your butt when you have to wiggle down on the table…so again, breathe and know that you can do this.

2.  Have a warrior name

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Just like Mindy Lahiri’s “Beyonce’ Pad Thai”, it may be useful for you to have a name where you can draw power from.

Simply take a woman’s name you admire and add a type of food you like to the end.

For example, mine is Elaine Stritch Chicken Parm Sub.

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QUEEN

3. Don’t waste time worrying about undergarments

For my first trip, I was really concerned with what type of underwear to wear. Thong… too flashy?  Briefs…to obvious that I’m trying to play it coy? I think I settled on a respectful cotton bikini but wear a thong or no underwear at all because once you get in that room, you’re undressing from the waist down.

*Side topic: To socks or to not socks?

Usually, I take my socks off before putting my feet in the stirrups in fear of the aroma they give off (and that I’m usually wearing two different kinds)  But just because my life is a mess doesn’t mean you should feel weird about keeping yours on. If you’re cold, keep em’ and if not, lose em’. Or whatever, I’m not the boss of your life.

4. Look great on top

Knowing your bottom half will be bare, you might want to sport something eye catching on top.  Personally, the 40-year old woman in me likes to wear big statement necklaces so I can make my “Hey Doc, eyes up here” jokes.

So…ladies of New York, FROST YOURSELVES

aka ACCESSORIZE ACCESSORIZE

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5. Hydration is key

Despite my frequent trips to doctors offices, I have yet to master the art of pee-cup samples.  I’m either grossly dehydrated or can barely squeeze anything out.  So to avoid a shameful urine samples, drink some water before your appointment.

6. Grooming down there

HAHAHHAHAHAH JK WHO CARES??????!!!!

Unless you have a crush on your gynecologist and wanna carve his/her initials into your pubes, it really doesn’t matter what you got going on down there.

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Overall ladies, feel comfortable to be honest with your doctor and just remember that warrior name.

And when in doubt, say a quick prayer while looking at this and you’ll be fine.

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Trust me.